What Not To Do in 2017

Hello. Today’s post has been contemplated long and hard until we finally settled on sharing with you the best toenails of 2016. Not really. While the toenails were a great idea, we decided to acknowledge the upcoming life event. Where did 2016 go? Oh, and hey y’all!!! So, today the real topic is: Things Not To Do in 2017.

  1. The first thing to not do is to dig yourself into any holes too deep to climb out of, verbally or literally. Mainly verbally, because they make ladders and ropes for the literal holes.
  2. The second thing to do is not move to Canada. Look, I know it seems like a good idea. The systems they have in place, you know, actually work, but…don’t do it. Just don’t. Don’t ruin Canada, too.
  3. Don’t get sucked into too many dangerous adventures that might end up injuring you. Living on the wild side is good and all, but you are appreciated and loved by at least one human, so please don’t die in 2017 doing dangerous things.
  4. Question your existence–do not do that. Have a glass of milk, eat a cookie, and remember simpler times. Let’s put an end to the existential crisis.
  5. Get lost in New York City. If you live there, use a map, and if you don’t go to Rhode Island instead.
  6. Eat seven dozens of donuts in ten minutes. You will ultimately void number four, and end up existentialism…if you do not explode your own stomach or choke to death…or something.
  7. Miss out on any opportunities due to fear or stupidity. If you want to try it, figure out how to. If you’re afraid to, see if it’s something you can face.
  8. Don’t forget to drive safely. 😉 In the internet and in other areas of life, 2017 seems like a dangerous year, so why not make it as safe as possible? ❤
    8.5. Never forget to keep your leggings in the library, and…

 

(Happy New Year 🙂 😉 😛 😀 :O ❤ :/ 🙂 O.o)

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