Posted in ACG is Weirdo Who Demands Some Things Get Categorized While Claiming to Dislike Labeling, Movies

The Mysterious Rectangle of WHAT EVEN WAS THAT MOVIE?!?

Have you ever gotten an ice cream cone and dropped it on the ground after only one lick? That’s essentially the same emotional crisis you suffer when a book you love gets turned into the worst movie of the year. Okay, maybe it wasn’t that bad. But it was still almost laughable.

Well hi there. If you haven’t noticed, we saw a bad movie last night. Well, the movie itself had a couple of good points… If you don’t think of it as really having any relation to the book it was “based” on. Or any relation to humanity.

Basically, it was okay if you enjoyed vertigo, under developed characters, and so much fighting it became borderline ridiculous. And don’t forget the added in, almost forced all into one scene overboard stuff like language and random vest unzipping then a black screen. There was a really irrelevant sex scene, okay? It was pointless, and Shailene (We weren’t seeing a John Green book-to-movie movie so there’s another clue to what the movie was. It was Insurgent. No more being polite. I was beyond disappointed.) must be perfect and not need a bra??? Which was just…weird and very confusing. That aside, the scene didn’t make sense in the first place. Tris and Tobias’ relationship in the movies was already suffering and poorly developed. This didn’t fit into their dynamics. Besides, as a fan of the books, I have to point out that the this scene wouldn’t’ve even happened until Allegiant.

If I had to pick just one thing to hate though, it would be the fact that the side characters literally served no function. They weren’t even introduced. Uriah, Marlene, and Lynn are a favorite, core group in the books, and while I understand not every detail can be observed in an adaptation, this was a huge huge huge disservice to these characters. Even worse, it was mostly just confusing.

I would have to say that mine was the fact that, minus a minor confrontation at the beginning, everyone seemed to adjust almost entirely too well to wherever they were. There were no weird frustrated zen moments with an Amity or no spirited debates with a Candor over anything even though if you know even the least bit about Faction interactions, we know that Candor make everyone uncomfortable and Dauntless like to yell at them generally. And we had Dauntless switching to Erudite and becoming lab techs as if it were the simplest thing.

For me none of those things were really problematic because everything else was so terrible(I needed my own thing to not like about it, too. Understandable. I’m just saying.). If anything else had been remotely okay, I would’ve probably been a little irked as most book fans are when things have to be altered in movies.

But I just… I can’t. I’m sad and disappointed. (possibly spoilers??? stop now if you want to live??? I mean, what?) The redeeming quality was Tris having to forgive herself to unlock the mysterious rectangle of power or whatever that was supposed to be. Oh! And the little tiny that was almost shot. She was precious. Otherwise, I’m not okay with it. At all. Maybe if I ever watch it again, I’ll feel better about it, but with first impressions in mind, I’m disgusted and hurt.

OKAY!!! Everyone is safe again from spoilers. Don’t just take us at our word for it if you’re feeling skeptical. There’s enough trippy (ha…trippy… she’s being nice) to go around, we won’t be greedy. 😀 🙂 😉 😛 ❤ :O

AJA’s moral tonight: drive safely and quickly away from Insurgent the movie. (Sorry! I like the book(s)! READ THE BOOK(S)!)

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