THE REDCOATS ARE COMING THE REDCOATS ARE COMING…
Oh, wait, that’s just AJA…nevermind…
I have no clue what we’re talking about, but I’m BACK, baby! It’s time to get scared! (And maybe a little scarred as well.)
Well it’s not our fault that you’re scarred. You did that to yourself. (How did I scar myself??? Invited pain and turmoil to your door…#poeticwordingforthewin Okay, but what pain and turmoil? That’s actually what I’m avoiding unless you enjoy simpering messes…) But, we can fix that with tonight’s topic of discussion…
Introducing, the one, the only, the nonexistent OWESOME!!!!
Oweome? It sounds painful, right? Well… Only it’s origin story is. (I’m so out of practice. Braaahhhh.) But I assume we are foregoing the origin and jumping straight to our idea for a hot new product!
It cleans, it heals, it soothes burns. It’s basically your dream spouse. Marry it. Marry the Owesome. I’m not sure that it’s safe to ingest or marry though so, how about we don’t? What does marriage have to do with ingesting it? It’s not a suitable option for a significant other.(I might disagree, but I’m also insane, so…It’s a worse idea than marrying your pillow or sports equipment. Maybe not sports equipment. At least this has a function.)
Anyway, the packaging looks really, really sweet–for instance, it’s like this really brilliant blue with red and yellow stars and like a dragon head on it and basically is actually made of flames and unicorns(there are special editions that don’t have dragons and are covered in seasonal and various other designs (lies. they’re all dragons. everything is a dragon) like zig zags (fancy dragons), music notes (might be dragons), sweet tea in mason jars (definitely dragons), and pickup trucks (also dragons)–and it can be found in imaginary stores everywhere. Neosporin, peroxide, rubbing alcohol, and aloe will have to step aside and make room for this all-in-one medical sensation!
Dragons do not have a hand in the production of this project (it’s one of the few drawbacks honestly) and their scales are not a part of the formula (lies.) in case anyone was wondering and concerned that part of a scaly lizard who may or may not be owned by a human (plenty of people have lizards though so…)
Fine, a honking huge scaly lizard that breathes fire stereotypically, says “waca” (that’s so spelled with a “k”) when it walks, and has giant wings and teeth that may or may not be owned by a human. I’m a dragon and no one owns me.
Owesome is cool. You should, like, buy it and stuff. But it can only be paid for with shiny objects which both Annas and dragons enjoy and horde. That can be glittery shoes or likewise shiny items…;)
Anyway, that’s what there is to it. Keep your sparkles in your heart and your daggers concealed…
😉 🙂 😛 😀
Don’t be a loser, always dictate your actions instead of doing them, and drive safely. *steals outro from ACG (sort of)*