Posted in Music Monday

Music Monday 2: Why Children and Spiders Don’t Mix

Good…night, guys! (That sounds like I’m saying goodbye. I’m not. I swear. I like your faces.) It’s Monday, and you probably don’t know what that means because we haven’t really been doing this long enough for you to expect it, so I’m going to tell you. It’s time for Music Monday. *insert suggestive eyebrow raise*

We’re back and better than ever! (I haven’t slept a total of 9 hours in 72 hours! 🙂 ) Okay, not ever but we only had a half day of school, had a lunch, and we’re working on this and have an amazing song we’re planning on using tonight. *hums a tune you don’t know yet*

We were planning on discussing an amazing song. Instead we will be discussing a…not quite sanely deemed children’s song.

The…itsy bitsy spider crawled up the waterspout. Down  came the rain and washed the spider out, up came the sun and dried up all the rain and the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again…”

Creepy, right? Why would you sing to your children about spiders?!? Because they’re conditioning them to not be afraid of them. Also, could the tone be any more cryptic?!? It could…

The really huge black widow creeped up the sewer pipe. Down came the waste and drowned the spider out. Out came the fumes and killed off all the life and the really huge black widow fell into the drain…

I would just like to point out, I didn’t say the words. I said the tune as in the actual way the song is sung. That’s what makes it creepy. The words are…moderately disturbing. Though, yours are ridiculously disturbing. What kills me is the way that this song is sung. All children’s songs are creep though. Let’s be real here. I mean, Ring Around the Rosy is literally about the Black Death (Bubonic Plague).  I appreciated the subtle teaching methods and subliminal messaging when I found that out though. #Imnotsadisticpromise
I appreciate it the way I appreciate horror movies. I’m also kind of scarred though from this one episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer that started with a child singing in the hallway about “the Gentlemen.” And, uh, yeah…The best part of that is our student council is called the Gentlemen. 🙂 WHY DO YOU THINK I DIDN’T VOTE FOR THEM?!? THEY’RE JUST WAITING TO STEAL OUR VOICES!!!

And we managed to turn a nursery rhyme into horror talk. Whoops. Yeah, are we good at that? Maybe.

It’s not that scary actually. But nothing is making sense anymore either though, so…

And I think we’re out of time for this session, folks…

🙂 😀 😉 😛

Sleep well, don’t be like me, and drive safely.

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