Because I’m Happy

As mentioned on Saturday, today we will begin a new feature-thingy in which we will discuss music. (I’m mature. I use words like thingy to add to a word.) Today’s song will be Happy by Pharrell. As you might know, this song has plagued the top forty for most of 2014.

Sorry, I got distracted and delayed by my parents not understanding true art. But whatever, that’s not the point here… The point is that HAPPY IS NOT MY JAM!!!

Fair warning: I don’t have strong feelings about this song at all, so my defenses shall be weak. (I don’t either until a minute and a half into the song.) But, I mean, you have to give it that it has a “happy” beat and uplifting message…? I’m really not sure what nice things there are to say about it other than it can be a fun song, though a bit repetitive.

I just have to point out that I’m pretty sure 89.9995% of the lyrics are “happy” or “Because I’m happy.” If a song is going to have THAT MUCH crazy repetitiveness in it, the other 10.0005% better be KICKING.

Okay, but consider this: it’s good background noise for negative conversations. Yeah, not really. It just adds to the irritation level.  For example: Your cat dies. Your mom turns on Happy and starts singing and dancing and suddenly says “Clap along if there’s no cat left for you!” It’d totally soften the blow. That’s AWFUL!!! Like, I’m insensitive but even I know better than THAT.

Okay… BUT. Let’s say you failed a test. You come in humming and your father is sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper (do people still do that? my dad doesn’t. some do. My mom does and my dad’s electronic, generally only knows it if it crosses his notification panel in some form.) and you burst into lyrics. “It wasn’t what I wanted to do, but I’m haaaaaaaaaaapppppppyyyyyy!” He’s going to ground you for like three weeks instead of seven because at least you can sing. (This is bad advice if you can’t sing.)

Yeah, you’re probably still going to be confronted about/by the problem. And your singing the annoying song is just going to add to their irritation and then you’ll get in trouble for avoiding the topic and odds are if they aren’t used to you failing, you aren’t going to be okay with it enough to sing a song about happiness, because you’ll be mad at yourself. Like, tears and punching and screaming mad at something. (Maybe even fighting in the rain… P. sure, Taylor talked about kissing in the rain and cursing names at 2AM.)

Well. You could still feel like a room without a roof. I mean, I’ve never been a roofless room(you’ve never been missing a head? Oooookay, wouldn’t have pegged you for that type And what type is that? (No, seriously.) decapitated and headless), but it doesn’t sound as fun as this Pharrell guy makes it sound. So, maybe he’s actually failed a test and is writing this song to cheer him up.

La. La la. La-da la da la.

I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean. But I’m going to assume it means that you agree the functionality of this song is literally to make situations more comedic? I’d say worse. To make situations worse. But what do I know? I know people throw rocks at things that sparkle…wait, shine.

If she ever asks me to do a Taylor Swift song I will come positively unglued.

And why is that?

Because Taylor is queen. SHhhhhhhhh! Your argument is invalid.

Why do queens have so many blank spaces? You’d think most would want to keep a king instead of bashing their cars with clubs and dropping their phones in pools. 😛

YOU ARE GOING TO START A WAR! Taylor is too good for a man. Let’s be real here.

Didn’t she have a song about kids in ripped up jeans beating the kings and queens? (Long live the still sorta not unbearably pop in transition Taylor!!!)

ACG, you best watch your step if you want me to literally not get upset because I think I will lose my mind if we have to have an argument about Taylor and how much she is the best thing not actually in my life but metaphorically in my life. Because the best thing in my actual life right now is our friendship. ^-^ (Nice save, AJA. Nice save…)

Thanks, that’s sweet. But I wasn’t bashing, just telling my favorite album, practically. Anyway, I think we’ve digressed far enough that Happy is no longer the point.

Until next week, my friends!!!! *holds up fist and is everyone else’s cue to toast or copy because if it’s not already in a movie as a pep talk conclusion, it should be*

🙂 😀 😉 😛 O.o

I was worried you wouldn’t add any emoticons and then our post would be lacking. Stay chill, and…drive safely, I guess. I mean, do what you want really. I don’t know your life, man. *salutes you* *turns on 1989* *feels the power of Taylor in my veins* *wants to take over the world* *decides becoming a dragon is better* *questions what ACG is doing* *is dragon* *roars loudly* *breathes fire on to peasants who have hurt me* –-and goodnight everyone!!!!

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