Posted in Fiction Land, grain of salt advice, Writing

Writers, relationships, and tater tots….?

Hey! It’s our earliest post yet! 😀 I think… O.o Or it might not be, but I haven’t been corrected yet so… 🙂

Oh dear. We’ve already got two emojis. No, three. Wow. Okay, well, at least she’s in a good mood. I’m in a good mood, but really grossed out. That’s not the question at hand though. I think we’ve had one earlier post, but who really knows?

Not me. So okay, y’all! If you’re reading this you’re probably a writer. Or a reader. Or you may be neither and watch for the pictures (ha, take that, AJA! Emojis for the win! Technically we do have pictures of our pumpkin, too.) but either way, this is our perspective and maybe a warning to the unsuspecting on what to expect out of a relationship with writers.


Writers are a little bit…different, which sometimes makes having relationships of any kind–whether it be friendship or something more–difficult or just plain confusing (or very very very interesting).

Yeah, yeah. They’re mostly interesting. Until they’re too far gone. Which may not ever happen, depending on how many worlds they create and try to balance and figure out and plot for. Kind of like sloths.

Sloths? Sloths. They are very interesting creatures and they don’t move a lot. Kind of like writers in their natural state. Oh. Well we move more than sloths (nah!) but less than clock pendulums or gears of a moving machine.


One thing you might have to but shouldn’t necessarily worry about is if you’re with them and they randomly start laughing. There are about three options:

  1. They’ve completely gone insane, ready to be committed. (This is unlikely. They’ve probably been insane they’re whole life and committing them will only be confusing. ‘Cause that’s a reason to avoid getting help.)
  2. They’re laughing at you for no real reason (or maybe one you’ve yet to notice) but mean no real harm by it. Of course, they could be being a jerk and are abusing this article? Post? Yeah.
  3. Something absolutely hilarious happened in a story they just thought of or you saying the words “tater tots”(or any other greasy snack  food of your choice typically associated with a fast food restaurant) simply made them think of potatoes and Mr. Potato Head and how funny he would be in a scene (back to writing) or how stupid he’d look with his mustache upside down. (Sometimes I’m waiting for my computer to load and laugh at the phrase “I a squid with one I/eye” and I never know which he’s/I’m/my brain is talking about.)

(Because there’s a real guy talking in her head about aquatic
creatures. Not. He’s very real to me, ACG. You know this.)


Setting inappropriate laughter aside. You don’t have to worry about ever truly being at a lack of a hypothetical-may-or-may-not-really-be-plausible-scenario. Most writers either keep one in their back pocket or love the impromptu-last-minute-stringing-together of a story.


One problem for those significant others (hopefully spouses, esposos if you will) of a writer might be naming your kids. Because anyone who has a lot of characters has gone through a lot of names. Besides the lack of originality, I can imagine that it would be very disappointing to think of a kid you named after a character and think about all of the flaws (whether it be lack of development or true character flaws) or admirable qualities they possess and that the child might or might not possess. This is why the idea of two writers getting married is super cute and also extremely worrisome. Because…HOW DO YOU EVEN HAVE CATS?!? I’m looking at you Tahereh Mafi and Ransom Riggs. How do you even have cats? You can’t name them anything. You can’t name anything! (I named a character after my dog. *sighs quietly* *hangs head*)

Not getting into the fact that I think animals don’t exactly count the same way (no offense to anyone who considers their true baby of a different species) because, they’re not humans and so that makes it different. It does, but it’s still got to be weird. So consider not marrying a writer if you ever want to name your children something other than “hey, kid.” Or consider marrying a writer and being a name generator. I feel like the second option is best. Yes, because NOT HAVING RELATIONSHIPS WITH WRITERS JUST BECAUSE THEY USE A LOT OF NAMES IS NOT THE ANSWER! …maybe.


One last thing writers do that you really need to keep in mind when maintaining a relationship with them is that they will stare off into space or start using it as their calculator, timeline, spreadsheet, etc. They will stare at other people. And since for the most part writers are heavy readers, they will be in love with several thousand characters and keep their noses in a book and/or keep it glued to their persons. It will be weird. So if you have a problem with weird…. Well, you’re out of luck.


Maybe somehow this has informed you on how to have a relationship with a writer. Or not. Probably not, but we can all pretend it did, right?


As always, keep your heads on sideways, move your checkers pieces straight and EAT MORE TATER TOTS!!! 😀


And drive safely. 😉




🙂 😀 😛 😉 O.o :O ❤




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